Disclaimer to end all disclaimers:

This book does not contain every possible disclaimer. You’ve been warned.

Caution: Do not judge book by other side.

Notice: Introduction sold separately.

Warning: Do not use book as a public telephone.

Notice: Do not read this book if you cannot read.

Missing cat! Return to Schrödinger, dead or alive!

Notice to residents of the United States:

Federal law requires that we post this notice on each copy of this book entitled Stop, Drop, and LOL. If you notice a book that’s missing this notice, please call and notify us at once. you may be eligible for a cash reward!! (The number to call appears on the bottom of each notice.)

Notice: If you’ve purchased this cover without the book, assume that someone else has the funny material that you paid for and is literally laughing at your expense right now.

Beware: If it’s so dark that you can’t read this warning, your shin is about to make contact with something sharp.

Danger: Never read the fine print. If there was anything in it that’s good for you they would have printed in huge letters.

Inside: Complete Guide on How to Burn Books [Caution: Do not dispose of this book in fire.]